Want to have an impressive first kiss, guys? It’s not just how suave you think you are. You have to start with a solid foundation.
Step 1 – Hygiene
Nobody wants to kiss somebody with spinach in their teeth. Before you go out on a date, make sure you wash well. Clean your teeth especially well. Use a tongue scraper to get rid all that nasty plaque coating your tongue. Apply deodorant liberally. After shaving, apply a cooling moisturizer to your skin to give your date soft skin to touch.
Step 2 – Cologne and Dress
The Perfect Kiss
When applying cologne, make sure you apply a spray on the back of the neck. It allows the scent draw in your date, while not over powering them. The scent will also be in a place she is likely to place her hands. After you drop her off at home, she will smell you on her hands and remember the kiss.
Dressing is more than just looks. You should dress appropriate to the date. Don’t wear a suit and tie if you are going to a movie followed by pizza. Don’t wear grunge if you are going to a play then out for lobster. When choosing your clothing, pick something warm and inviting. If you want your date to put their hands on you, you must pick colors that they want to touch. Darker colors are generally warmer and more inviting than bright colors, which appear colder.
Pick clothes that don’t have a strong scent. Wash them with scent neutral detergent, softener, and dryer sheets. Your “Dark Stallion Musk” cologne won’t work well if your clothes smell like “Ocean Breeze”. Scents with a hint of lavender will work well with most colognes.
Step 3 – Lip Balm & Breath Mints
Starting at least a day before the date, start applying lip balm every few hours. This will soften your lips and eliminate any peeling. Nobody wants to be kissed by crusty cracked lips. Don’t use the balm during the date. You don’t want to kiss her with waxy lips. Don’t use a flavored lip balm.
Use a breath mint. No matter how well you brush, floss, and rinse, bad breath can surface after an hour. Don’t start chewing gum. Chewing gum on a date is very tacky. Keep to small mints, like TicTacs. If needed, you can quickly swallow a TicTac and move in for the kiss. The same cannot be done with larger mints or gum.
Step 4 – Eyes, Tongue, and Breathing
It goes without saying that you should kiss with your eyes closed. She may or may not close her eyes, but you should always close your eyes. It’s OK to take a tiny peak now and then, but make sure your eyes are closed when the kiss ends.
Never ever use tongue on a first kiss. If there is any use of tongue, let her be the one to initiate it. Even if she does initiate it, don’t use heavy tongue. Your tongue should never be further than just between her lips. The same goes for making noises, humming, or moaning. Moaning on a first kiss is just creepy for a guy to do. Keep it silent. Make sure you keep breathing slowly through your nose. You don’t want to prematurely pull out of a kiss because you forgot to breath and start gasping for air. Don’t breath into or out of her mouth. Bad breath aside, you could cause her to cough or choke.
Step 5 – Initiating the Kiss
A great kiss is a combination of mood, location, and timing. The date has gone well, and now you are moving into the after dinner phase. Because you have thought ahead, you have planned for a walk in the park, or along a river, or a carriage ride. You have also planned for a place to stop and talk. Great places for this are bridges, waterfalls, or another landmark that makes for a great, and private, kissing location.
It’s early enough that you both are not exhausted. You haven’t taken her 20 miles through the woods just to get to a waterfall. And you haven’t eaten so much that you are busting at the seams.
When you come to this location, it can either give you both a chance to talk before kissing, or it could bring the kiss immediately. Be prepared for both. The timing of the kiss could be during a silence or during conversation. Usually, during a break in the conversation is the best timing, but your instinct will tell you.
Signs that will tell you is that she is touching you more. You both may be holding hands. You may even both find yourselves in a “tickle fight”. These are all classic ways of elevating intimacy. If you are holding hands, or she is touching your arm a lot, you can feel safe that she would like a kiss.
Don’t just spring a kiss on her, give her a subtle sign. Turn towards her, and look her in the eye. Keep moving in slowly, and make sure you’re not going to collide with her nose or her forehead. Just before kissing, you will see her take a breath and close her eyes. As you meet lips, close your eyes, and place your hands on her waist.
Four Factors
A kiss is made up of 4 essential factors. The hold, the press, the motion, and the length.
Step 6 – The Hold
The hold is how you hold your date while you kiss. If this is your first kiss with her, remember two rules: no butt, no breast! Keep both hands on her waist, just above her hips. If the kiss lasts longer than 10 seconds, slowly move a hand up the small of her back. If that works well, slowly move the other hand to the side of her hip. But remember: no butt, no breast! There is a difference between being provocative and being a dog.
Step 7 – The Press
The press is the pressure you put into a kiss. As a man, you want you want a little firmness behind your kiss. You want her to know you are a cowboy, not a cowgirl. The press involves the pressure of your lips, and the pressure of your body. Keep light pressure on your lips. Don’t strain your lips or she will think shes kissing her toothbrush handle. Don’t loosen your lips so much that she thinks she’s kissing Jello.
The pressure of your body should start out light, and intensify. This is an area where you get to pretend you really are a superman. Without overdoing it, suck in that stomach, flex those chest muscles and biceps. Without becoming rigid, let her body and hands feel that she’s kissing the man of steel. Just don’t over do it. As you progress into the kiss, draw her into you. Your movement should be in and up. Pull her hips into your hips, and pull her up to you (assuming you are taller). Give her the impression that she can melt in your arms and be carried away.
Step 8 – The Motion
The motion is the motion of your lips with hers. Most people tilt their heads to the right when kissing. You should, unless you want to bang foreheads, also go right. Keep your lips parted and moving. Imagine that you are slowly eating a soft serve ice cream cone. You want to make small, slow motion nibbling motions. Don’t part your lips far enough to fit your tongue through them. Practice this now to see how far apart this is.
Move your head in small motions as you kiss. Move naturally in ways that feel good and compliment the kissing. How you move isn’t important so long as you don’t make any dramatic movements nor do you stay rigidly still. Don’t make her have to move awkwardly to keep up with you, because this will cause the kiss to end immediately.
Step 9 – The Length
You are the guy, you don’t determine the length. The kiss could last 2 seconds or 5 minutes. If it is the first kiss, it is definitely not up to you. Be prepared for a short kiss. If it last more than a few seconds, move in for the longer kiss. Keep moving slowly. Prepare ahead for a kiss that lasts more than 30 seconds by positioning yourself next to a rail, a bench, a tree, or anything you can lean against before you kiss. This will keep you both from passing out from standing too long in one spot.
Step 10 – The Wrap Up
Regardless of how long the kiss lasts, how you end the kiss can determine its success or failure.
A no-failure ending to a kiss is to slowly move away with your eyes still closed. As you move away, open your eyes, and look directly into her eyes. Keep your eyes locked onto hers, and give her a little smile. Give her the impression that she has mesmerized you. If your hands are on her hips, you can make a short move to hold one or both of her hands if she brings her hands down. If she keeps her hands on your shoulders, neck, or arms, keep your hands on her hips.
If you want to be a bit playful, now may be a good time to move into a slow swaying dance.
Be ready with something good to say. Simply saying, “Wow,” as most men do will only stall you a few seconds. Be a bit more creative. Saying something like, “I wish this night would never end,” isn’t very original, but it does work well. If the kiss was long, mention something about the kiss. If it was just after dinner say something like, “That was the best desert I’ve ever had.” If it was a short kiss, say something about the date too, such as, “I was already having a great time tonight, and that just made it perfect.”
Stay loose and relaxed, and above all, have fun!
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