Why do you want to quit your job?

This is a question that will be asked by many people.  If you are deciding whether or not to quit your job, you will certainly hear this from someone.  It may be your boss, your coworkers, and your partner or spouse.

Before you decide if you are going to quit or not, you should be able to answer this question for yourself.

To help you get started, here are some common reasons.  Some are good reasons.  Some are not.  This may help you decide if you really should quit.

#1 – I hate my boss!

This can be a good reason or a bad reason.  Most people aren’t best friends for their bosses.  Nobody likes to be told what to do and when to do it.  The boss is the focal point of all of our complaints as employees.

But before simply saying that you hate your boss, ask how you really feel.  Do you dislike them personally or professionally? Do you work well under them?

The idea is to discover if your problems with your boss are personal, “I don’t like how she always talks about her kids,” or professional, “She always delegates the easy tasks to my coworkers.”

Professional problems are the ones that really justify quitting your job.

Some career coaches talk about working out professional problems with your boss before deciding to quit.  But the truth is, you may have already talked to them, or feel intimidated.  You should always try to talk to people.  This isn’t always realistic, though.

#2 – They don’t pay me enough for my work!

Are you sure?  Have you checked comparable regional salaries for your position and experience?  Do those numbers take into account the current job market and unemployment rates?

If you are sure, there is two things you absolutely must do before quitting.  First, get an interview and job offer from another employer who is willing to pay more.  Second, tell your current employer that you have an offer for X amount of dollars.  Give them a chance to beat it.

But remember, don’t take an offer that doesn’t significantly beat it.  They could always turn around after a month or two and cut your pay or fire you.  Then you’ve already burned the first offer or another employer by turning them down to stay with an employer that either couldn’t or wouldn’t keep you on.

So when doing this, have it in your mind that you really do want to quit, that you have alternatives, and you can tell them to give you a raise or you walk without bluffing.  Never bluff an employer for a raise.  More often than not, they’ll call your bluff.  Once they realize you’re serious, they will call you in for a last minute offer if they are serious about keeping you.

#3 – I can’t take the stress anymore!

This is usually a culmination of many problems.  While this situation is serious, it may have little to do with your job.  Before declaring that work is your source of stress, talk to a councilor.  Not only might you work through your stress, but you may find the councilor helpful in getting time off under FMLA.

Unless you work for someone like Google, asking to take a sabbatical is rarely granted to most employees.  But under FMLA, you could be declared medically disabled and take a badly needed period of time off to get past the stress.

Whether it’s a midlife crisis or postpartum depression, speak with a councilor before quitting your job.  The sudden loss of income may only make your stress worse.

Once you can answer these questions for yourself, you will be able to answer that spouse who has house payments and children’s food on their mind.

And remember, quitting a job is far less upsetting if you first find a new job to go to, much like putting the parachute on before jumping out of the plane, rather than after.

Be sure to read our related article: How to Survive Personal Crisis

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Personal Crisis comes in many forms. It could be the loss of a job, spousal infidelity, a death in the family, a house fire, or financial loss.

Though each of these are completely different circumstances, coming out of a bad situation with your sanity intact is possible.

Perspective

The first step to overcoming a crisis, whether it is a bad day or more serious situations requires perspective.

Crisis can overwhelm the mind if a person does not see past the crisis.

A bad day will come to an end. A house can be rebuilt.  Love can be found again. Families can come together.

The key to perspective is picking a point in the future to focus on.  The greater the crisis, the further a person should usually envision the point.

If you have a bad day, look to the next week or month when there is an event you can look forward to.

If your spouse cheated on you, look forward several years when you both have reconciled or when you may find love again.

Don’t fall into the trap of believing that the crisis will last forever.  It won’t last forever.  Time does heal wounds.  Parents may pass away, but there are always births to look forward to.

Realistic Thinking

Realize that in our minds, problems are often magnified and distorted.  Bankrupcy may seem like the end of the world, but it is not.  There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Keep things in realistic terms.  Losing everything you own is tough, but things can be replaced. Losing a loved one is a situation that can cause deep depression, but memories can be honored and give us hope.

A crisis on its own can be bad, but exagerating the situation only makes it worse.  Millions of people have gone through the same types of crisis, and live happy lives today. Know that you will be live a happy life again, too.

Support System

Use your support system to help you get through it.  Friends, family, coworkers, and councellors are all available to you to find emotional support and comfort.

If you belong to a religious group, seek out their support services as well.  The people around you can help you gain that proper perspective and realistic view of your situation, and give you more options on dealing with your crisis.

Step By Step

Don’t panic.  You can work through any of your problems by going step by step.  A common saying is that the longest journey begins with the first step.  This is also true of a personal crisis.

A crisis may seem as difficult to get through as walking from New York to Los Angeles, but when taken one step at a time by putting one foot in front of the other, you can find your way out.

Patience

Realize that situations can take a long time to work through.  Even small situations can make you feel fear, anxiety, and anger long after the immediate problem has gone away.

You must also expect that you will run into future situations which may bring a past crisis to your mind.

Prepare yourself for dealing with this.  Actively acknowledge to yourself that no two situations are exactly the same, and that similar circumstances does not necessarily mean that you are going to repeat the same crisis.

If a parent started having trouble breathing before being diagnosed with cancer, you may feel anxiety when another loved one starts having breathing troubles.  This can cause you to jump to the reaction that they have cancer.

Such things can cause severe depression.  The way to avoid them is to realize that you are imposing old fears on a new situation.

By being honest and patient with yourself, you can avoid the unnecessary stress.

Enjoy Life

Finally, if you work at being a positive person who normally enjoys life, your outlook while in a crisis will not be as negative as it could be otherwise.  By working now to be positive, you are already working on overcoming future crisis.

Crisis happens to all of us.  Nobody lives a life free from trouble.

Crisis will come, but there is an ancient saying that holds just as true today. “This too shall pass.”

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